The first barrier to asking for what we want is ignorance, and the second barrier to asking for what we want is limiting and inaccurate beliefs about ourselves and those with whom we share our world. Parents, schools, the media, religious training, and the medical profession have programmed us all with some of them. Have you ever heard any of these phrases at home, or, worse are you saying them to your own children? “You’re so selfish, all you think about is yourself. As long as you live in my house you’ll live by my rules. When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you. You don’t understand enough, I know best. Just shut up and do as you are told.” At school, the one who ask questions or asks for the teacher’s help is the brown-noser, the teacher’s pet. The media sets unreal standards of wealth and beauty and character. The Marlboro man never cries. Church doctrine, misused, can be devastating. “It is more blessed to give than to receive” has created generations of martyrs.
Stop listening to that stuff and use your Divinely seeded intelligence! You won’t receive if you don’t ask and you won’t have anything to give if you don’t receive! We are taught not to question the doctor’s diagnosis, prescription, or the amount of time we have to wait for our so-called appointment. The programmed message is that we are too ignorant to participate in our own health care. All of these messages and others like them warp our understanding of who we are and what is possible for us, and we come to believe we don’t deserve any more than we get. We all have limiting beliefs. What are yours?
The third barrier to asking is fear. Fear of rejection, fear of looking stupid, fear of being seen as powerless, fear of humiliation, fear of punishment, fear of abandonment, fear of endless obligation. Can you identify your fears about asking for what you want? We already know what the worst thing not asking gets us. Nothing. Nothing but a life of quiet desperation. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen if you asked mother, spouse, boss, child, authority figure or God, to give you what you want? Even if the answer is “no” there is a blessing in it. Maybe we need to learn to ask more clearly or improve our timing or learn who is the right person to ask. Any time we learn something, we have received something.
The fourth barrier is low self-esteem. Believing my needs are not important, I’m not worth it. The Alladin Factor by Canfield and Hansen suggest we look to the person on our left and the one on our right. Only one of the three of us is OK. We are suffering from a national epidemic of low self-esteem. Would you pick yourself out of any given crowd of three people as the one who was OK? As the one who was truly worthy of the abundant life, the kingdom of heaven as your dwelling place, right here and now. Low self esteem is immensely dangerous. Those who suffer from it become either manipulative, aggressive or hermits rather than being able to face life with faith and joy. Remember who you are: a spiritual being created in the image and likeness of the Divine. Low self esteem is a huge lie.
The fifth barrier to asking is pride. How many of you are familiar with the Marine Corps cadence count. Guts, guts, pride, pride, loyalty, loyalty, one, two, three, four, United States Marine Corp. We women have enough trouble with pride, but men have really had it ground in. Asking is equated with being a wimp, a failure, not pulling your own weight. You’re weak. You’re needy. If you ask, you will be judged as not having enough, or doing enough, or being enough. So what. If you don’t ask, you won’t be able to have enough, do enough or be enough, and neither will anyone else. Stop and think about this for a minute. If I have to ask someone else for something, I’m afraid it means I’m weak. If someone else asks me for something, I don’t look down on him or her, I feel needed and valued. Why am I so much more generous in my opinion of others than in my opinion of myself? Or am I being generous to others? Maybe it’s my arrogant pride that says “I’m good enough to help you, but I’ll never let you think I need you for anything.” Excessive pride and low self esteem are two sides of the same coin and neither one serves us.
By the way, I’d just like to let you know that all my “I am Prosperous” affirmations really did work. They led me to discover the critical importance of asking, and my prosperity has been continually increasing ever since. So my prayer for you is that you will go out and catch a good dose of “Gimme” consciousness and begin to put it to work for yourself. Discover the limiting beliefs you have accepted from your environment and choose again based on your adult intelligence. What are your fears? They are usually silly shadows without real substance. How would you measure your self esteem? As a child of the divine you should have a healthy dose of it. A sense of pride is a good thing, but excessive pride blocks every area of abundance.
Take this journey of inner exploration. Take all the time you need. Then choose again. No one and nothing outside of you can block you from a life of complete abundance.
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