What is prayer to me; my personal experience
of prayer? In childhood I thought my
family was the universe and I was the center, literally with “Now I lay me down
to sleep. I loved praying as a child,
especially the rosary. Then in my late
teens, it seemed to me that all that praying didn’t do much, and that was the
beginning of resistance. Life became
busy, and there were more important and effective things than prayer that I
could do. It was the stage of believing
the illusion that I could consciously master my fate, and that no one out there
was listening anyway. My universe had
gotten much larger than my family, but I still had the unconscious perspective
of being the center of that universe.
Robert and Janet Ellsworth defined three
major types of prayer. The first is
results oriented prayer, in which you pray for specific requests for yourself
or someone else. The next is defined as
consciousness expanding prayer, or affirmative prayer and prayers of praise and
thanksgiving. The third is defined as
non-directed prayer, or meditation and the experience of the silence.
All three of these types of prayer have
a place in my life. When I am troubled,
or when another is in need, results oriented prayer brings me great
comfort. God is within me, but God is
also much more. I turn within to find Divine
contact and surrender my concerns and the needs of others to that one Presence
and Power which sustains all of us in love.
Consciousness expanding, or affirmative
prayer, is a tool to break down the barriers in my own mind to the good of
God’s will. It is my path to discovering
and activating the power of creation in and through me. It is a method to transform my own negative
thoughts, my fears, my false beliefs, into realization of the love and power
active in my life, often in spite of me.
Non-directed prayer, or meditation and
the experience of silence, is the source of my joy. This is where the thoughts of my mind, the
feelings of my heart, and the knowing of my spirit come together and meet a
“something” that is so great and so beautiful that touching it, even for just a
few moments, sustains me and give me a serenity which lasts for days, sometimes
weeks.
I invite you to examine your own prayer
history, and your prayer life now. Which
forms of prayer seem to work best for you? What brings you the most joy, the most
comfort, the most growth? Is it
different kinds of prayer at different times, or is there one way that always
suits you best? Become familiar with
what stimulates you to pray, which forms of prayer you use, and which kinds of
events lead you to the various forms of prayer that are a part of your prayer
life. This is where the conscious mind
and will can make a positive contribution to mastery of your fate. Know yourself, become consciously aware of
the truth of who you are, and use your will to make the choice for comfort, for
growth, and for joy.
