Peace, Passion, Purpose

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   Take a moment and bring to mind something you have not yet fully accomplished that is very important to you.  It could be a relationship with a friend, spirituality, world peace, physical health, education, business success - just one big thing that’s on your to-do list.  Don’t try to define everything you care about right now, just pick one thing that has high value for you.  Just one! 

   I have a challenge for you.  Look through your checkbook and your credit card statements for the past 12 months.  How much of your money have you spent on that one thing?  If you have a calendar or a Palm or any regular way of organizing your time, look through it for the past year and see if you can estimate how much time you have spent on this one, important thing.  If you don’t have something like that, search your memory and come up with your best guess.  How much of your resources have you committed to something you feel is very important to you?

   I’m willing to bet every one of us has at least one thing we say is very important to us, but it gets little of our resources; financial or time & energy.  Why is that?  One possible answer is that it really isn’t that important.  Maybe it’s really a “should.”  Something we feel we should believe is important, some sort of obligation.  Another possible answer is that it means so much to us we hardly dare try.  What if we fail?  It seems emotionally easier to hold this wonderful thing out in the land of “someday” than it would be to give it up altogether because we just didn’t make the grade.  Or maybe we think it’s going to require more of us than we have right now.   You know, all of the "too young, too old, too poor, not enough education, too fat, too thin, too tall, too short" series of beliefs.

   If you want to live with peace, passion and purpose, schedule that one thing.  Start a savings account for it, block out time in your calendar every week, make that first call, shop for those first healthy meals, whatever it takes for your one important thing.  Just start right now.  First thing when you wake up each morning bring that one thing to mind and tell yourself something about it.  “Today I will……………"

Then do it.

Peace, Passion, Purpose

Let Go of Control

To have more peace in our lives requires authenticity and self-mastery.  More passion is kindled through relationships and growth.  For a sense of purpose, we need to clarify what is meaningful to us.  That all sounds like the work of a lifetime, and it is.  But don’t forget it’s a journey, not a destination.  If we are seeking more peace, we may work on living authentically and developing self mastery for the rest of our lives, and day by day, as we get better at it, we will experience more and more peace.  Through improving our relationships, and living on a growing edge we create a life that becomes more passionate as we get older.  The more we understand what is meaningful to us and why, the greater our sense of purpose.

   Do you know how many people have worked all their lives just so they could have a good retirement, then they die just a few years after retiring because they feel useless and have no purpose?  Or the opposite example; those who retire and begin a second career, maybe even a volunteer career, and find more meaning and satisfaction than ever before.  My parents belonged to an Airstream club that built its own retirement motor home park in the mountains of Arizona.  It was easy to tell which people had a sense of purpose and which ones were just waiting to die.  I don’t want to tell your story for you, but I would bet you are not one of the people who is going to be willing to spend your last years just waiting to die.  I’m certainly not going there!

   Oddly enough, in order to find the song in our own soul and live in a state of peace, passion and purpose, we need to let go of control.  Control is nothing more than the ought to’s and shoulds that made us forget our soul’s song in the first place.  This doesn’t mean we go unconscious and say ok, God, you’re in charge.  We become very conscious and discover Spirit leading us exactly where our hearts yearn to be.  Our letting go is only into the presence and power and love that gave us life in the first place, and it is done with a willingness to become the full grown potential carried in the seed that has been planted in us with the breath of the divine.

   A life of peace, passion and purpose is our heritage as sons and daughters of life’s longing.  Anything less is waiting to die, no matter our age.  What we are born to, our heritage, is to live in a state of peace, nurtured by the power of divine love no matter what outer circumstances we face.    To spend our days passionately, with relationships that challenge us and keep us on our growing edge makes our later years outshine our youth by megawatts.  To discover our deepest values and live according to their calling give us a sense of purpose that is not dependant on anything but the joy and satisfaction in our own hearts.  In the words of my faith tradition, “Life is an upward, progressive movement of Spirit.”  All things are possible, including a life of peace, passion and purpose.

Peace, Passion, Purpose

The Song In Your Soul

I have often said that for the first time in recorded history, humanity is living long enough to grow up.  It’s even better than that.  Mid life is no longer somewhere between thirty-five and fifty.  It is possible now to have a thirty year career, retire, and still have an entire adult life ahead of us before we get really old.  We can start looking at midlife as between fifty five and sixty-five, or older.  That means we have lots of time for lots of changing!  Isn’t that wonderful?  I would like to share a passage with you on midlife from the book “Create a Life that Tickles Your Soul,” by Suzanne Willis Zoglio.   “In midlife the need to accumulate material things becomes less significant than the need for time to enjoy what we have.  The need for the approval of others becomes far less compelling than the need to follow dreams of our own.  …… As we assume positions of leadership in our careers and communities, we want to exercise that same level of influence in our personal lives as well.  We become more insistent on living deliberately and according to our own rules.  As we begin to lose parents, older siblings and even peers, we become keenly aware of our own mortality.  Just as we hit our stride, time starts to really fly.  Suddenly we have an urge to do what we’ve always wanted to do, before it’s too late.  We want to taste life more fully, connect with others more honestly, and somehow have a hand in making the world a better place.  So we set out to reinvent our lives, seeking peace, passion and purpose.”

   Peace, passion and purpose.  We are seeking to regain what we were born with, then had trained out of us or forgot as we were growing up.  Let me give you a little reminder lesson on the 1960’s in middle class America.  Not the part about the hippie generation, rather the part about conventional social expectations.  Education for girls was still not necessary, but most of society had recognized by then that girls who went to college were more likely to marry the really successful guys, the doctors and lawyers and such.  If you find a college town movie from the ‘60’s, many of the girls would be wearing suits that Jacquie Kennedy or Barbara Bush would have considered socially appropriate for the upper class.

   I grew up being told that whatever my life was like, that was God’s will for me, and my job was to live that life in humble service, hoping to die free of sin so I could then spend eternity in paradise. 

   Do you know how far away eternity feels to a 10 year old in Sunday School?  And just how much weight will that teaching carry with a 16 year old, in love, or maybe it was in lust, for the first time.  Of course it didn’t help that the young man was three years older, drop dead gorgeous, and a natural born smooth talker.  Motherhood, here I come.  Funny, a hundred years earlier I would have been the success of the community, bagging a husband with a job at such a young age.  In 1960-something, it was a shameful stigma that locked the door to church that I had already slammed shut.

   I can remember hitting my first round of mid-life crises.  I was directed to a psychic – the first time I’d ever met one – and the first words she said to me were; “You’ve spent years trying so hard to fit into all the little boxes other people built for you, and you almost succeeded.  If you had, you would have killed yourself in the process.”  That was the beginning of me reinventing my life, and I began a long search for the peace, passion and purpose that had for so many years been buried under obligation, duty and, yes, resentment.

   When you give up the song in your own soul in exchange for pleasing others, or for what looks like the easy road to success, resentment becomes a growing cloud that darkens your days and separates you from joy.  The only cure is to find your own song again and start singing it.  Stay tuned.

Peace, Passion, Purpose

Changes

   If you had been raised as a Hindu boy at the same time Gandhi was, you would have been taught that there are natural stages to life that were relative to your age and learning.  The first twenty years were for your education and developing your skills for work in the world.  The second twenty years were to be spent supporting and raising your family.  The third twenty years were for the purpose of prayer and spiritual growth.  These classifications make perfectly logical sense.  Men learned first how to earn a living, then used that ability to continue the human race by raising children, then completed their lives by focusing on spiritual practice and perhaps even benefit the world in some way by the wisdom they discovered and taught.  That certainly was the pattern that Gandhi’s life followed.

   There were two basic assumptions in that culture; in fact in most cultures at the turn of the 20^th century.  One was that there was no point in educating women, because their purpose was to bear children and serve their husbands.  The second was that living to be as old as 60 was a much longer life than many people experienced, so guidelines didn’t exist for the next 20 years, or the next.  Today with advances in medicine and nutrition, experts are now talking about an average life expectancy of 110.

   So let’s extend those guidelines a bit.  The first 30 years are for getting educated, the second 30 for raising a family, the next 30 for spiritual pursuits.  That leaves 20 years at the end to figure out what’s next, or just play around.  However there is a third basic assumption in categorizing life in this way, which is clearly inaccurate; the assumption that life as it is will always continue in pretty much the same way.  That assumption is the seed of hopelessness and the antithesis of faith.  An old, simple affirmation is a guide out of the rut of hopelessness.  It goes like this.  “Life is an upward, progressive movement of Spirit.” We are on a journey and we have a purpose.   Yet we humans often step into the rut of hopelessness and get stuck there, unable to find our faith.  The way we do that is called resisting change. 

This earth was born in a blast of flaming gasses, and if it weren’t for change, consistent, progressive change, you and I would not be living here today.  What if you and I had never learned to tie our shoes or feed ourselves or crawl?  What if we had so resisted change that we still needed someone else to change our diapers?  The changes in the earth and the changes in us have been an upward, progressive movement of Spirit that has led to more and more possibilities, more and more life.  Change is the very activity of being, doing and becoming.

   One truth that comes through loud and clear from the Hindu teaching is that there are life stages and our life will change from youth to adulthood to old age.